Vacations are supposed to be fun, but they can cause a surprising amount of stress and drama—particularly where money is concerned.
A woman not wanting to split the cost of a holiday cottage evenly with her friends is being bashed online, with Mumsnet users telling her “you need to pay.”
Posted to the site’s AIBU (Am I being unreasonable?) forum on 4 August, user Peachyroll asked if it was “ridiculous” that her friends expected her to pay for a full week’s stay at the vacation rental, when she could attend for three days.
She wrote: “A couple of friends who live abroad are returning to the UK next month to visit family in Devon, and a group of us are going [to] rent a cottage down there for a week to meet up with them and have a cycling/walking holiday.
“I can only make the first weekend, Friday to Monday, because I’ve got another trip booked. However, I have been asked to pay an even split of the whole week’s stay at the cottage.”
In her post, Peachyroll explained that one of her friends had complained about paying for the empty bedroom for the four days she can’t attend. The group has told her she should pay for the full week, since it’s “her fault” that she can’t stay for the whole trip.
“They think it’s fairer to just do an even split,” she said.
“This is ridiculous right? Aibu to insist I only pay for the nights I’m staying?”
A 2018 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that when it comes to romantic relationships, people were more likely to actively address an issue and expected their partner to do the same. However, when it comes to disagreements with friends, people are more likely to ignore the problem and hope it goes away.
Researchers participants asked to imagine a scenario where they were unhappy with their romantic relationship. They had the option of responding in four different ways—a positive active response, a positive passive response, a negative active response or a negative passive response. Whether positively or negatively, participants expected their partner to respond in an active manner, such as having a discussion about the issue (positive active) or threatening to end the relationship (negative active).
However, participants expected friends to respond in a positive passive manner, such as not saying anything and hoping the situation improves, or a negative passive response, such as ghosting. This means that friends are more likely to drift apart over different views or life changes, rather than a confrontation.
Peachyroll’s post received almost 300 comments in less than 24 hours, with users telling the woman to pay for the full week or find another solution.
One user said: “Obviously you pay, or you are responsible for filling the room the rest of the time and gathering the money for that.”
Another commented: “They could pay less and get a smaller cottage for the week and you could book somewhere separately for the weekend?”
A third asked: “Did you not discuss this before it was booked?”
While a fourth suggested: “If you weren’t going for the weekend they could get a smaller place that costs less. Of course you pay.”
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