A man on Reddit has described a frustrating situation involving his pregnant wife and an upcoming holiday.
in the posta user going by the name of Randomname69696969 describes how since his wife has recently had to give up alcohol while pregnant, she also expects him to abstain.
The frustrated partner explains how they were planning a trip abroad and asked if the no drinking rule would still apply on holiday, “and she said of course. I’ve now decided I won’t be paying for us to take this trip. AITA ?”
Drinking alcohol at any time during a pregnancy can harm a baby’s developing brain and other organs. The National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism reports that “prenatal alcohol exposure is a leading preventable cause of birth defects and neurodevelopmental abnormalities in the United States.” No amount of alcohol has been proven safe at any time during pregnancy.
Offering more information on the situation, user Randomname69696969 explains how the couple would “smoke weed pretty often. My wife would smoke more than me mainly due to the fact I work more hours and she works a grocery store where she can happily go to work high whereas I work in a job that I’d struggle to perform high. We both would rarely drink maybe once or twice a month.”
The user explains how since their wife got pregnant, they were happy to give up “the weed thing,” however, “she since then also expected me to give up drinking, literally all drinking I’m not even allowed to have one beer if we go for a meal.”
A study undertaken by the University of Eastern Finland from June 2022 found that even during pregnancy, a woman’s drinking habits can correlate with their partners.
According to the researchers, the results show that in order to protect the fetus from exposure to alcohol, both parents should reduce their alcohol consumption already when planning a pregnancy.
The support and abstinence of the partner may help reduce the risk to the baby. The study found that there was a significant correlation between partners drinking habits, which made it harder for the woman to break once pregnant if the partner continued drinking in the same way. In the small percentage of the women in the study who consumed alcohol while pregnant, the quantity of alcohol consumed was affected by their partner’s use.
After explaining that they take care of 90 percent of the bills and managed to save up for their first holiday abroad in years, the user said that “not being able to enjoy a few drinks whilst on holiday I feel kills the relaxation and when it takes over a year to save up for this type of trip I’d like to be able to enjoy it to the fullest. My wife has decided she will not budget and if she can’t drink neither can I, so I’ve decided that I won’t be paying for the trip and we can just do something cheaper / closer to home.”
Describing the wife’s attitude as “balderdash” in the highest rated comment with over 13,000 upvotes, user MbMinx writes: “I’ll be unpopular, but NTA. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and nothing gets under my skin much more than people who are alcohol-free DEMANDING that other people can’t drink either.
“There is no reason why normal people with a healthy relationship to alcohol can’t enjoy the occasional adult beverage at the proper place and time…It’s the personal responsibility of the non-drinker to manage their response…It’s balderdash. ..”
User StinkyStangler sympathized with the user: “No, the problem is that she’s being controlling lmao. He isn’t going to be able to enjoy his vacation, so he doesn’t want to take it. Nothing wrong with that, nobody is entitled to travel.”
User agreed stewiecatballlacat: “NTA. I’m pregnant right now and I’d never ‘punish’ my husband because I can’t to x,y, z while pregnant. That very selfish and entitled.”
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